Hello my Brother, How do you do? .
in this month i am having a serious course to improve my English, and it is not as easy as i thought when i need to focus in every detail of the grammars, and writing format.
How are you doing Brother ? Do you feel good?. What is in your mind right now?. Are you Happy?

Me?
actually i am feeling great to have an adventure for myself, deciding to study overseas, have a chance to plan my own way of life. I am never have this kind of adrenaline to prepare myself for everything new.

Yeah, actually i am afraid for everything, but my faith push me to overcome it no matter what will happen later.
That is nice when you live by having a purpose in life, like i told you before brother that i want to see the outside world.

Brother, i like to tell you something about myself ,
This person have so many desires inside, This person have so many talents, this person have so many Dreams, and He is confusing himself right now , about which one that he needs to trow away or keep.
Inside his heart now, he likes to grab any chance to achieve all of it, but there are a depression when he realized that he is too late to play around.

actually i don't care about " Age " but there are a Dream which requires Young Age, so right now i plan the easiest way to be achieve as " START " and i will slowly follow what is in front of me, and of course i won't  throw any of my dream behind, but keep it safe for a while.

Thanks to my Mom, She really always be my side right now, although i know She is sad to let me go far away, but she keep concerning about my preparation and appreciate my decision. Right now i feel like spending my whole time with Her, i know She is the one who will suffer later because of me. I decided to have a tour to Europe with her on this August , just two of us. Because of that i have to skip my regular BLIA YAD Activity later on August, and of course i need to do permission to YADers, If only i can divide myself into two -.- .

Brother , there are one thing, which make me sad recently,
to be honest there are another person who i wish for guidance and support, but in the end i am a little bit sad, when this person misunderstanding , and gave me such a guilty feeling during this hardest moment , instead of warm welcome and understanding.

sometime it creates some negative mind for me to think of feeling like being rejected when i am not in much help anymore, but actually until now i tried to keep erasing that unnecessary mind, and i know that person is still care about me, yes i do.

There are a lot of things that i would like to share with this person, i discovered a lot of new things, and solutions that i believe it will help much, but i don't find any right moment to tell it, and haven't found any guts to tell because too many weakness will be revealed.

i know to let go something precious is very hard things to do..
Me also had been walked trough all of the dilemma, and emotion my own. In order to be stay strong and have a steady mind, i choose to act on the opposite way to make people let me go , so i can settle my feeling more easily.
but the fact is i am always grateful to be grow up in this lovely environment :)

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Brother i went to North Sumatra Zoo with friends on 17 June 2012, although the zoo is neglected and squalid , it was fun to have a new activity to do. During out tour around the zoo, i have kind of feeling, when i look at the animals' eyes is "Sad" and "Lonely".

I always describe myself as a Horse, Eagle, Tiger, Elephant, Deer as my personalities. but when i looked at the animals who trapped in a very narrow,squalid and empty cage, in the same time i thought what happen if i was they ? and it give me a very sad and lonely feeling.

i wish i can become Horse, which suppose to run as fast as i can and have a strong loyality, I with to become an eagle which suppose to fly higher without boundaries,
tiger which strong and self protection , Elephant which very kind and humble, Deer which very charismatic and respectful, all of them had lose their pride and couldn't anything but full of lonely and hopeless drawn in their eyes.

at the moment i think what will i do if i am inside that cage? What Happen if i have no freedom and being controlled for not having a dream ?

Right now i have my freedom to get my dream, why should i being afraid? why should i need to be hesitate and being controlled or confuse when i have so many friends to share, chance to see the world, chance to make a change.

It teaches me that sometime we like to make our own Cage,

We don't fly when we have capability to fly, but we blame everything because laziness, and have no dreams , and in the end we live pathetically .


At that time i told myself " Yes, i want to live my life till the fullest " " I don't want being in the cage"

i don't want to live because people gave you food and force you to do everything that you don't like to do as an elephant which gave me a short ride that time.

It was a very remarkable moment and thanks for all the animal which told me to be free and gave me high motivation to start my day again..



Love Me and Stay Strong
Rong Lee