Inside My Brain & Soul

Happy Mother Earth's Day

Hi got a new story today...

tonight me and my friends do performance for my organization..
we performed 2 shows.. * Pantomime and Video Clip live show *
because tonight is BLIA DAY & Celebration Mother's Day--

My Mother didn't attend today because she is at Surabaya right now and got something to do..

I performed Video Clip show with a song of Jay Chow * Thing Mama De Hua ( Listen to your mom words)*

you know..after i did Technical Meeting before the show at 13 May 2010
i was worried-- because i was afraid this performance will give Mother and audience some confusing
or maybe they will not understand it -- because you know Mother always like something traditional and easy to understand..

especially my Jay Chow performance ..

in this performance i need to bring myself like a real superstar and bring Jaychow appearance and style inside me ..

all i have to do is..do lip sing and act like a real Jay chow..hahaha

Jay Chow's Fan surely like to kick me this time hahaha

to be honest during the practice, i blank about how to look like a real Jay Chow --
i didn't get a lot of move in this performance--
and i was afraid audience will not understand what am i doing up there .. looks like just messing around.. and i was afraid i will ruin up the background performance which perform more movie clip that audience need to understand and focus ..

i even think how about there are no Jay Chow up there, just focus on Movie clip up there..
i ever discussed it with one of my friend.. and he told me..
" no....infact that jay chow will make different " and suddenly i feel " aaaaa how stupid i am haha.."
i realized i just being afraid of being different ... " what a Looser "

and tonight i wanna tell you .. I Just feel like " I Am a Real Superstar up There" haha

honestly i don't know that audience enjoy it or no..
because when the spotlight Spotting myself...
This body just moved by itself...
and i really did enjoy it..
something i never imagined .. i created a lot of new moves that i never ever think during the practice..it's all came out spontaneously ...
Hahaha that moment still ring inside my head..when i walk and dance..doing rap... acting in front audience hahaha

you know what?? I am so JAY CHOW hahaha (although i am not really inspire by his style in a real life haha)
but maybe i am more active than him...because that i know..jay chow is extremely cool and quiet..

aaa that is not Jay Chow Style.. " that is my style i think " ( Oh Yeahh )

hahaha... i even don't know this show is good..or not..
but i just not care..because everybody were doing the best when standing up there..so was i..

About Pantomime ..everybody also doing good..
but i also don't know..will mother understand the story or not..

just see the feedback later hoho..
but i know everybody had done the best..that is the most important things..

Happy Mother's Day---

i haven't said it to my Mother earth..
but i know she hear it inside her heart..
because i am sending telepathy to her right now.....

Maybe i am a kind of high pride son..

i always suck in showing care...i can't said i loved you... it's hard for me to sleep beside you and hug you like when i was a kid long time ago..

as a son i am quiet enough...think as i can do everything my own..

think as my point of view is the best..

sometimes i act like i don't like to be seen as a stupid son in your eyes..

i always pretend that i know everything...when you asked me a question..

sometimes i didn't answer your question because i think that is a stupid question..

But honestly i am so happy when see you every time enter my room and asked me.." do you have your lunch? have your dinner? " caring me...

although sometimes is annoying...but it's better than not ...

sometimes when i got a lot of good story out there..

i wished i can shared it to you..

but this stupid pride always don't know how to talk freely with you..

i really do talk little ..

i just ask important things..

and ignore unimportant things..

i know you deserve more than that...

sometimes when i see you stress for your work..

tired.. i wish i can encourage you as i encourage my friends...

i know how to encourage you..but i am afraid of being stupid in your eyes..

sometimes i even can be mad at you if see you keep being stress or complain..

i wish i can tell you to stay strong..and relax.." but the words that always appeared from my mouth is " Why so noisy ?"

When i was sick, i never told you.. because i don't want to look weak in your eyes..

when you sick i also didn't bring water for you..all i said is just " going to sleep " because i always want to believe that you will be okay and just a simple sick that will be okay by itself..because i don't like to think that you got a real sickness..and you really are not..

When you asked me to massage you when you are little tired..

sometimes i am ignoring you..because i don't like seeing you like having a great pain of sick, or some ill.. because in my eyes you are a healthy Mom...

haha i am a damn son...

yes that is me..

this attitude is so suck..but this heart..said different.. and i believe you know it..

i am going to be a good son who growing mature and someday taking care of you..

i asked too much... i know..

now i missed you..

although you were just not at home for 2 days...

haha what a spoiled kids..

this is me..a son who are pretending strong but actually like for being cared by you..

Having good day right there..

i am sending this telepathy to Surabaya...

i wish you received it...