Hey Brother, I am here! it's finally I am take my first step to the outside world...

Hi Brother, how are you? what are you doing?

I have nothing to do now, today i am reviewing my future plan, and starting to buy some stuff for my study to a whole new world which coming more CLOSER.
NERVOUS(20%), EXCITED(50%) and SURRENDER(30%) that's all how i count my feeling in percentage.

Nervous about how i should decide to write a new whole chapter story, nervous about how to start because everything seems so blur. As you can see my Surrender categories reached 30% , which means i surrender myself to restart my life, being Vulnerable to accept everything that will come to me, I surrender my future to this opportunity. I surrender  myself to fight hard and dying there, struggle until i alive again to be a new valuable person.

I have the highest percentages of Excited category which reached 50 percent. That means I am excited to know what will happen to myself, what amazing new people i will meet, what inspiration can inspire me, how far i can survive, how far i can learn. I am really excited about things that are going to happen to me. I am totally excited to learn a new things, I am excited to be a better person.

Today i went to buy plenty of new stuff for my self with my beautiful person ever ( My Mom ). I got new Nike shoes, sweater, blazer, hat, scarf, and some girly stuff such as makeup like body lotion, lip balm, face lotion to protect me from freezing cold winter that i never experience in Indonesia .
Oh yeah i even get new underwear (oops) lol.

Although this year i couldn't pass my chinese new year with my lovely family and family, I tough i am going to save a lot of money from buying new clothes. but... i think i spend more this year lol.

Brother, last week i decided to depart on 1 January regardless to the ticket price, but now i feel like Buddha plan something better for me. Maybe you won't believe me, but i know Buddha ask me to spend my precious new year with Him. :)

Did i ever tell you some weird story about a person i met during interview for my Visa at Jakarta?
I think not yet, this is my story....
I met a person who are going to do interview that time, her name is Milka, She is going to study in a same university with me, but different college but still at Swiss too.
That time i feel so grateful to have some new friends who are going to share same information, but something funny happened when we know that we born at same month and year. We are in a same age,brother haha.

I tough i am too old to start my study, but see... I am totally wrong.

Brother, Do you think this is coincidence ?

I think Buddha plan everything for me, He know how to help me by make us met and help each other. Can you imagine this? Same date and time of interview, University, even same month and year of birth.
at least i don't feel all alone now. :)

Both of our Visa had been approved too in a same day, and She going to swiss on 2nd January, so I think maybe  it's a good idea to arrived in a same date and we catch up each other to prepare everything before starting the class.

That time i am already booked my ticket on 1st January, and if that fixed already, i am not capable to join Old & New party with Buddha this year, I am going to miss that warm feeling with my friends but Buddha decided different from me, He cleared my dillemma and He know how not to make me feel miserable for this New year.

I got a sudden news from my agent and she said my visa noted that i only can enter swiss on 4 January 2013, which means i need to cancel my ticket. I asked My new friend Milka about this issue, and we found that our arrival date in our Visa is different, She can enter Swiss since December which earlier than mine.
So there is something make me keep wondering. We did interview in same date, same time, we going to same country, same university, even get approval in a same day, but Why we got a different arrival date in our Visa?

That's why when i got this news, i am speechless and i knew what i should do in this Last Year. :) I am going  to ask for your permission and spend this precious year with Buddha, family and my 2nd family before i'm starting my new journey. Thanks for arranging me such a beautiful schedule for me. :)

I am feeling so blessed brother, although i told you i am so blur about what i should do and decide for my future later, but i have this BIG COURAGE inside my heart , I don't know where this courage come from, but i feel like someone talk and ask me not to stop, keep walking and i am going to be alright. Everything will be cleared when the time has come.

Brother, Christmas is near!
what is your plan, i wish i can celebrate it again with all my friends and family.
i feel like to pass this christmas with so much joy with people i love, but everyone seems so busy with their own schedule, i wonder how to make everyone gather and celebrate it. :)

Hey, brother something funny happened again just now, someone found me on Facebook and she said she is going to enter a same class date too, lol.
She is from Bangkok, and my flight is going to transit at Bangkok too, who knows we can met there.
She is going to reached at 4 January too, and maybe we can be classmate later haha
She is a fresh start in Culinary like me too!

See brother, we always have friends, Buddha always know how to less my worries. :)

There is never too late to set a new dream and start a new better day. 

so many coincidence happen today haha..


Brother, everything seems so fine lately. I have more courage after talking with you tonight,

        Both of us, Let's start a new better life together :)

Thank you for everything.


Love Me and Stay strong
Rong Lee

Hey Brother,
how are you doing ?

I have a very good news for you today :D.
My Visa had been approved ! Very thanks to Buddha for making everything run so smoothly for me.
I am so grateful for not having any problem about the Visa, because i can't imagine how sad i will be, if there are any problem occurs and i need to delay my class and wait longer.

You know brother, i sound want to go quickly but when today i realize that now is the next step for me to start deciding the date for my departure, what comes in my mind is my friends.... my family............this home.....this bed room, this childhood :)

I just know to decide the date is not as simple as i think, I told my friends that i wish to go faster, but now when I got the freedom to choose, i need to stop for while.. sitting.. and nostalgic with all my past memories..

The Orientation is on 7 January 2013, and i can go at 4 January 2013, or maybe at 3 January, because some of my friend suggest me to go faster so i can still have time to prepare things there. Right now, i haven't decide when to go.

Talking about my friends and 2nd family, the last event that i can spend my time with is during the Old & New Party, which will be held on 30 Dec - 1 Jan. They are doing a festival and small concert again :). But I decided not to join any performance, because I haven't decide the day to enter the whole new world. I know i can't become so focus with any performance in this condition when I need something to adapt with. I need a moment of peace and silence to arrange all the feeling. Right now i feel like to sit dow and watch everyone and treasure them in my mind.

Right know i am kind of confuse about how i spend my day with especially in Old & New. With my friends or with my family. I don't know who are going to miss me more haahahaha. Just Kidding bro, i am the one who are going to miss them more :)

I want to spend my joy and welcoming the new hope generation in my 2nd Family BLIA YAD, beside that i know my mom and my dad going to looking at me like a lonely person and wish to be with me too. If i have a bigger body, longer hand, i wish i can hug everyone in one hug and tell them how much i am going to miss them.

But I think after i am sitting in front of my desk tonight and remind my self about how much i love everything that had came to my life, and remind how lucky i am to be born as not perfect person, but have a happy moment. I think i have a way to solve this confusion :)

I want to make sure i do something that can make everyone happy :)
yeah, i think thats all I can do now :)



Oh yeah brother ..
This is some picture of my simple graduation Day lol

Hey brother, long time no see again :)
how are you doing?

I am feeling so blur right now brother, i don't know how i feel, feeling like " What is this ? " " Why I am Here ", " What am i doing " Feel like standing in my place and everything around me moving unstop able. I am just looking around without saying anything. I am standing in my place and looking for one thing that stop  for me and make my heart decide to take my first step when everything move too wildly.
I feel like this is the moment where i don't care about happiness and sad. I feel like it's too soon to said i am happy, and too soon for me to say i am sad, when i don't really experience enough about myself.
What i'm all thinking about is the day when everything will change and everything will be cleared is closer and closer. Maybe i can say that i am in neutral condition, where i don't feel happy and sad. I am in a middle position where i have a freedom to choose go to left ( sad ) or go to right ( happy ). In that position, but i still believe when i got to left it doesn't mean i am really sad, and when i go to right it doesn't really mean i am happy either. :)

Brother, the day is coming closer to continue my journey in another place :) I'm still can't imagine it when the first time i told you about my desire to explore the new world. Everything seems so blank and hopeless to make that decision, but now it is standing in front of me. I just need to wait for little longer and i will be my own.
I will fly freely as a bird, run wildly and steadily as a horse. Finding my self, and become what i want to become.
It such a long way that i had been prepared, such as rushing all my documents, practicing German language, looking for information, interview for my Visa that caused me to flown to Jakarta which i haven't told you yet.
I met some friends, listening to some advise from my family, knowing some new friends, finding some inspiration. :).

Having a bright future and valuable life is the reason i live :). Just, the future seems so blur now, and i haven't found which path that my heart will really choose, because i know if i doesn't dig it than i never found it. So i am going to find it soon :).
I just can't find it here, i don't know why. Being in here i feel like everything had been set for me, my environment pushed me to be normal, people wish me to have a proper life, but what i want is to be different. I don't know how to tell ya about being different right now, because i am on my way to find it now, and i have nothing to prove it. I just found it when i follow all normal people point of view, my value of life is just not myself. I want something more :)

oh yeah brother, I had my German course for a month now, so much things to memorize lol. it seems a whole world to master this language now, so many new word to memorize. You know brother, right now i just feel that i need to keep going, not hesitate and questioning too much even everything seems so blur. I Just keep walking and do what i need to do, feel what i need to feel, and something told me inside " Everything will be cleared  later " so do not stop now.
I am doing this too with my german practice, i know questioning too much now is just make me confuse more to adapt with the rule's language. so i just keep going and i believe i will get used to it and everything will be very cleared to me.

Right now i am being a tea pot where before inside the pot is full with water, so i need to pour it out from the tea pot until it's empty, so i can enjoy and refill a new water.
I want to be a person who have no limitation to learn a new things. So recently i listen more than i speak brother :)


OH THATS RIGHT! There some news that i would like to tell you brother.

Tomorrow is my
 GRADUATION DAYYYYYY !!!!! TADAAA!!
SURPRISE!!

I Finished my Business Management Bachelor Degree :)
FINALLY!!!!!!!!
yeah, at last i did my promise right? :D.
It seems so late to graduate but i am not running a way, at last i prove to myself and Buddha that i am not wasting my time :)
Actually I am not proud about my title , but what i proud is that i keep my promise. That's my point :)

Now I have no worry my brother, people i loved here have a new hope, i had helped them as much as i can, and what i like to say i had told them all. The wish that i wish had been heard and now i believe everything will be back to the right track :)

Right now i just need to fix myself and make sure i am making a right decision for myself :). I had been my own recently, only think about what i want and looking for my inspiration.
I am full of desire now my brother, haha
Sometimes it's kind of making me to think how unfair is this world, because when i am just have a chance to make a new big step for my own, the world gives me a very limited time and told me " Hey ROng!! you getting OLD !" LOL
and i just said to the world " OHH COME ON!!  i haven't start anything! " haha GIVE ME SOME MORE YEAR TO EXPLORE! LOL

I have no regret my brother :) that because what i did in the past is clearly my decision, nobody push it, it sincerely the things that i can give. I just did what my heart ask me to do.
I am a person who following what my heart said. Thats why i have no regret.
Everything that i had in my memories is something that make me a person, something that make me valuable, something that i can be proud of.
yeah that is human being :) i found some quote that really suit with my condition, it is about

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -- Mark Twain

Okay, then, i need to go to bed now .
Gute Natch Bro.

Stay strong and Love Me

Rong Lee

Brother, I plan to leave my lovely town on January 2012, everything is so new for me and i don't really know what should i prepare beside steady my english, and general knowledge more. Preparing some report is what I have to do now.

Brother :)

My friend just sent me a message and asked me the issue that he/she heard about my plan to leave BLIA YAD because for starting my new life overseas..
To be honest i found it a little funny and pissed off in the beginning, but now i feel so thankful and happy for having trust by people :)

This friend mad and scold me about not being selfish , she asked me about how can i let go easily BLIA YAD who i had been living with for 8 years ? he/she even told me to stop have my dream to study overseas because it won't guarantee me can be success. :)
I can't believe there will be someone who can said this horrible things to someone who need encouragement right now,
but i am no longer have any anger for he/she , what i can do is only smiling. When i heard about this thing it made me want to go even more.
It is sad to have people who judge you bad because of something that you need to do for living.
but if i rethink, i should be grateful to live as person who can be depended by people and this is a reflection of how pure my friend love BLIA YAD :)

This what i called " miss understanding " , sometimes we want to care but unintentionally hurt people feeling and of course we can't hate other and turn it into grudge forever because of this common mistake :)

This person told me that BLIA YAD needs me and i should help when they need a help.
At that moment, i though about what help they need from me? What guidance should i give?.

We are not living and wasting time to face a same problem, or mistake. all we need to have as human being is " Meeting and have a better Understanding", and the last thing is " Change "
this is the basic method that i always revealed out in every problem that i found, but it seems the hardest things to do because people tend to have strong self protection and ego.
There will be a problem when an organization stop listening and accept change.

I will go if i had to go, i will stay if i really need to stay. This Heart always know what is the best for everyone and myself, i had done what i can do for 8 years, and i had fulfilled all my promises to Buddha. I had done my best, and take my responsibility seriously but of course people always ask more and more , and good is never enough. Maybe some people will think i am such an arrogant person, but i believe if other people understand clearly about myself who always do what my heart told me to do, they will think differently. I believe what i had been trough and felt are also had been experienced by other people when they want to do something bigger and give more. Sometimes i know people have the answer inside their heart, but they just afraid to dig it up :)


But i won't stay because of other people depends on me instead of depend on their own selves. There will be a problem when people don't have clear dream and afraid to make a change. BLIA YAD is a great organization, although it is not perfect and a lot of weakness, but they have strength to learn and have unlimited skill to overcome mistake and perfect each other.
although sometimes they look and sound foolish and hard to be understand about what they real intention, they act like crazy and struggle to find a real way to regenerated Buddhism and found a real dream, sometimes also unintentionally caused wrong perception in other people.

In my life i never met this kind of organization who make so much foolish things and create benefit for other people in the same time.
Sometimes they try hard to give other people happiness but without realizing it they lost their own happiness. How can we met this kind of people who dare to sacrifice?
Maybe people are going to said " How stupid those person who want to give happiness, but they don't feel happy" but the funny things is although sometimes they are stress, but they never stop or give up. In their mind give people happiness is a must. What will you think if in this world there are 80 percent people who dare to sacrifice for other people's happiness?
Have you ever met a person who care so much about other people satisfaction than self? although so many things sound mistake, but they have a clear intention to find a better way to understand Dharma, they believe can be wiser someday and never fall in a same hole in the future, they have very bright future :)

That's why i think this organization is the most unperfect and perfect thing that i ever met .

they don't need me actually, what they need is an experience, change perception, adaptation , listening , accept weakness, don't waste too much energy in a wrong activity, appreciation, be universal, open heart, open minded, and more understanding about real Life, so we can spread Buddhism without boundaries and limitation.


In BLIA YAD i learned how to accept things that is not perfect as something which have HOPE.
It taught me to live happily in this messy world, and it teaches me that we can't die no matter we do mistake because we can directly get up and fix it up. We won't die because of it.


BLIA YAD doesn't need a smart people , as long they always dare to accept new things, and willing to guide so BLIA YAD will always live in this Humanistic life...


Of course BLIA YAD will break if they ask more from people but ignore to guide people with better way, ask for understanding but refuse to understand life, and the most important thing is losing their track for their real Dream, which give people Hope and Happiness.

About my study overseas, i believe BLIA YAD will understand about what is the best for me and for themselves. There will be a time when everything need a change. As long BLIA YAD always open the door and welcome a nomad ( perantau ) like me to home, BLIA YAD and myself will never feel missing or losing .



Always love and Stay strong

Rong Lee

Hai!
We met again :)
it seems that i am going to stick with you more often because i need to start studying how to do correct writing in academic. You know about my personalities right? a person who have no rule and always do everything with own style, just like my english writing right now. Writing a whole things without paid attention to grammar and spelling as long people understand that will be alright . LOL
And know i need to obey for every rule in order to get good score for my IELTS exam later, haha Sometimes in order to understand the world and obtain freedom, we need to adapt with the situation instead of asking people to adapt with us :)

Brother, tonight i realized something about " Gratitude  and Repay " after I read some sentences in Mater Hsing Yun 's Book, it said "


Master Hsing Yun's views about the love between parents and children , when the parents are young and helpful, the sons and daughters are going to fight to get her attention like the BASKET BALL , after a half old the sons and daughters will throw from each other and toying like VOLLEY BALL , and after parents are old and incapable, the daughter's and son began kicking them like SOCCER BALL.

I think that is right, because i unintentionally do this kind of things without realizing it, especially when i found my parents or maybe teacher, if they starting can't give any better solution or understanding, i will stop to do cooperation further. And now I feel i just being a Jerk .

As a person, if we want to be happy, the first thing we need to learn is know how to appreciate and repay people kindness, maybe there are a person who stubborn and won't listen to you, that will be alright as long we know how to yield and don't give up to give support and better way to repay all the kindness/teaching that we got.

Tonight i want to send my gratitude with everyone who had guide me and teach me about Life..
and I love and care with them like my own life, I wish all of us can learn how to be Wiser and Stronger to make a right understanding about life and change life to be a better place :)

I believe People will change someday :) ,know how to forgive is the most powerful strength to make life better.

Okay, i need to go to bed earlier because of the intensive class for my IELTS, which held from Monday to Friday from 09.00 to 13.30. Everytime when i didn't get enough sleep, it will affect my concentration and ruin my breakfast schedule.
Everyday at noon i will suffer hunger in the class because they didn't prepare you enough time and food eat inside. i need to study well Brother! at least for once time in a life i need to really focus in studying :D
right now i feel like i need to depend more on self to face everything.
Because in the future i will live and survive alone, without Parents and BLIA YAD who keep surrounding me.





GOOD LUCK!
LOVE ME &
STAY STRONG



Rong Lee

Hello my Brother, How do you do? .
in this month i am having a serious course to improve my English, and it is not as easy as i thought when i need to focus in every detail of the grammars, and writing format.
How are you doing Brother ? Do you feel good?. What is in your mind right now?. Are you Happy?

Me?
actually i am feeling great to have an adventure for myself, deciding to study overseas, have a chance to plan my own way of life. I am never have this kind of adrenaline to prepare myself for everything new.

Yeah, actually i am afraid for everything, but my faith push me to overcome it no matter what will happen later.
That is nice when you live by having a purpose in life, like i told you before brother that i want to see the outside world.

Brother, i like to tell you something about myself ,
This person have so many desires inside, This person have so many talents, this person have so many Dreams, and He is confusing himself right now , about which one that he needs to trow away or keep.
Inside his heart now, he likes to grab any chance to achieve all of it, but there are a depression when he realized that he is too late to play around.

actually i don't care about " Age " but there are a Dream which requires Young Age, so right now i plan the easiest way to be achieve as " START " and i will slowly follow what is in front of me, and of course i won't  throw any of my dream behind, but keep it safe for a while.

Thanks to my Mom, She really always be my side right now, although i know She is sad to let me go far away, but she keep concerning about my preparation and appreciate my decision. Right now i feel like spending my whole time with Her, i know She is the one who will suffer later because of me. I decided to have a tour to Europe with her on this August , just two of us. Because of that i have to skip my regular BLIA YAD Activity later on August, and of course i need to do permission to YADers, If only i can divide myself into two -.- .

Brother , there are one thing, which make me sad recently,
to be honest there are another person who i wish for guidance and support, but in the end i am a little bit sad, when this person misunderstanding , and gave me such a guilty feeling during this hardest moment , instead of warm welcome and understanding.

sometime it creates some negative mind for me to think of feeling like being rejected when i am not in much help anymore, but actually until now i tried to keep erasing that unnecessary mind, and i know that person is still care about me, yes i do.

There are a lot of things that i would like to share with this person, i discovered a lot of new things, and solutions that i believe it will help much, but i don't find any right moment to tell it, and haven't found any guts to tell because too many weakness will be revealed.

i know to let go something precious is very hard things to do..
Me also had been walked trough all of the dilemma, and emotion my own. In order to be stay strong and have a steady mind, i choose to act on the opposite way to make people let me go , so i can settle my feeling more easily.
but the fact is i am always grateful to be grow up in this lovely environment :)

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Brother i went to North Sumatra Zoo with friends on 17 June 2012, although the zoo is neglected and squalid , it was fun to have a new activity to do. During out tour around the zoo, i have kind of feeling, when i look at the animals' eyes is "Sad" and "Lonely".

I always describe myself as a Horse, Eagle, Tiger, Elephant, Deer as my personalities. but when i looked at the animals who trapped in a very narrow,squalid and empty cage, in the same time i thought what happen if i was they ? and it give me a very sad and lonely feeling.

i wish i can become Horse, which suppose to run as fast as i can and have a strong loyality, I with to become an eagle which suppose to fly higher without boundaries,
tiger which strong and self protection , Elephant which very kind and humble, Deer which very charismatic and respectful, all of them had lose their pride and couldn't anything but full of lonely and hopeless drawn in their eyes.

at the moment i think what will i do if i am inside that cage? What Happen if i have no freedom and being controlled for not having a dream ?

Right now i have my freedom to get my dream, why should i being afraid? why should i need to be hesitate and being controlled or confuse when i have so many friends to share, chance to see the world, chance to make a change.

It teaches me that sometime we like to make our own Cage,

We don't fly when we have capability to fly, but we blame everything because laziness, and have no dreams , and in the end we live pathetically .


At that time i told myself " Yes, i want to live my life till the fullest " " I don't want being in the cage"

i don't want to live because people gave you food and force you to do everything that you don't like to do as an elephant which gave me a short ride that time.

It was a very remarkable moment and thanks for all the animal which told me to be free and gave me high motivation to start my day again..



Love Me and Stay Strong
Rong Lee