Hey brother, long time no see again :)
how are you doing?

I am feeling so blur right now brother, i don't know how i feel, feeling like " What is this ? " " Why I am Here ", " What am i doing " Feel like standing in my place and everything around me moving unstop able. I am just looking around without saying anything. I am standing in my place and looking for one thing that stop  for me and make my heart decide to take my first step when everything move too wildly.
I feel like this is the moment where i don't care about happiness and sad. I feel like it's too soon to said i am happy, and too soon for me to say i am sad, when i don't really experience enough about myself.
What i'm all thinking about is the day when everything will change and everything will be cleared is closer and closer. Maybe i can say that i am in neutral condition, where i don't feel happy and sad. I am in a middle position where i have a freedom to choose go to left ( sad ) or go to right ( happy ). In that position, but i still believe when i got to left it doesn't mean i am really sad, and when i go to right it doesn't really mean i am happy either. :)

Brother, the day is coming closer to continue my journey in another place :) I'm still can't imagine it when the first time i told you about my desire to explore the new world. Everything seems so blank and hopeless to make that decision, but now it is standing in front of me. I just need to wait for little longer and i will be my own.
I will fly freely as a bird, run wildly and steadily as a horse. Finding my self, and become what i want to become.
It such a long way that i had been prepared, such as rushing all my documents, practicing German language, looking for information, interview for my Visa that caused me to flown to Jakarta which i haven't told you yet.
I met some friends, listening to some advise from my family, knowing some new friends, finding some inspiration. :).

Having a bright future and valuable life is the reason i live :). Just, the future seems so blur now, and i haven't found which path that my heart will really choose, because i know if i doesn't dig it than i never found it. So i am going to find it soon :).
I just can't find it here, i don't know why. Being in here i feel like everything had been set for me, my environment pushed me to be normal, people wish me to have a proper life, but what i want is to be different. I don't know how to tell ya about being different right now, because i am on my way to find it now, and i have nothing to prove it. I just found it when i follow all normal people point of view, my value of life is just not myself. I want something more :)

oh yeah brother, I had my German course for a month now, so much things to memorize lol. it seems a whole world to master this language now, so many new word to memorize. You know brother, right now i just feel that i need to keep going, not hesitate and questioning too much even everything seems so blur. I Just keep walking and do what i need to do, feel what i need to feel, and something told me inside " Everything will be cleared  later " so do not stop now.
I am doing this too with my german practice, i know questioning too much now is just make me confuse more to adapt with the rule's language. so i just keep going and i believe i will get used to it and everything will be very cleared to me.

Right now i am being a tea pot where before inside the pot is full with water, so i need to pour it out from the tea pot until it's empty, so i can enjoy and refill a new water.
I want to be a person who have no limitation to learn a new things. So recently i listen more than i speak brother :)


OH THATS RIGHT! There some news that i would like to tell you brother.

Tomorrow is my
 GRADUATION DAYYYYYY !!!!! TADAAA!!
SURPRISE!!

I Finished my Business Management Bachelor Degree :)
FINALLY!!!!!!!!
yeah, at last i did my promise right? :D.
It seems so late to graduate but i am not running a way, at last i prove to myself and Buddha that i am not wasting my time :)
Actually I am not proud about my title , but what i proud is that i keep my promise. That's my point :)

Now I have no worry my brother, people i loved here have a new hope, i had helped them as much as i can, and what i like to say i had told them all. The wish that i wish had been heard and now i believe everything will be back to the right track :)

Right now i just need to fix myself and make sure i am making a right decision for myself :). I had been my own recently, only think about what i want and looking for my inspiration.
I am full of desire now my brother, haha
Sometimes it's kind of making me to think how unfair is this world, because when i am just have a chance to make a new big step for my own, the world gives me a very limited time and told me " Hey ROng!! you getting OLD !" LOL
and i just said to the world " OHH COME ON!!  i haven't start anything! " haha GIVE ME SOME MORE YEAR TO EXPLORE! LOL

I have no regret my brother :) that because what i did in the past is clearly my decision, nobody push it, it sincerely the things that i can give. I just did what my heart ask me to do.
I am a person who following what my heart said. Thats why i have no regret.
Everything that i had in my memories is something that make me a person, something that make me valuable, something that i can be proud of.
yeah that is human being :) i found some quote that really suit with my condition, it is about

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -- Mark Twain