Hey buddy..

i haven't tell you some  past story..

i joined some singing competition...
it called " Sound Of The Human World "
it is Buddhism song to sing..

and tomorrow is the Day to do semi Final..
Wow!

about costume..i try to break the rule..where everybody suggest to wear damn formal and very tidy...
but i like to wear something comfort...
as long it suits eyes..

about the song...i take light the lamp..
why?
because it brings memory...
i wish i can picture it with this song tomorrow..


at the first time when i saw the brochure " hmm hey let's try this! "
but with a busy things to focus..i kind of  ignore this already..
until my mom and some people in temple..push and give me courage...
so..aaa okay!
aa i can't write any longer..
condition is not suit for me to write..

Tomorrow.. i wish i learn something...
i prepare myself to lose and Win!

hey diary..
this few days my head is full with the next generation of BLIA YAD Indonesia  
( New committees of 2011- 2013)

at Sunday,10 October 2010..BLIA YAD Indonesia do interview for the applicant who offer to become a Committee..
and i am the one of the Interviewer from five interviewer..
a whole day we stay at temple..try hard to interview and understand all the applicant
23 applicants need to be interview in 6 hours..without any break..

and all is finished at 18.30.. this head feels like want to explode ..haha
During the interview..
all the question that rings in my mind is just this one " Can I trust this person to protect BLIA YAD ? "
in one case i like to give people chance..in one case i am afraid i will choose a wrong person.. which will disturb BLIA YAD's Harmonize..
you know..because we don't know..do people will change good or worse.. do people want to learn or not.. do people will appreciate this chance or not..do people will stand strongly to he/she decision?

i know i am worry too much..
because this is the 2nd times we do interview for applicant of Committee..
and the first time we need to hand all over such a big responsible to youth who younger than us..

a lot of mind such as " can they do this? "
" Do they understand what is the responsible that they choose ? "

because there are two kind of person in this situation:

To be honest...the result of the interview this time is 80 % is kind of person in number one..and you know..of course in interview people will prevent to be rejected so all sure will answer positively..
that means which i worried a lot..

where they join because factor of  
Friends, fame, status..
which someday they can found out impermanent, people can change and then  break the promise..and destroy all of their belief for 
"why actually i stand here?"
"What is the Reason i come here?"


This morning i think about the day when i being asked become a committee in BLIA YAD..
actually they don't have any interview...and kind of decision that didn't give you a chance to say no..
it Surprise you and make you shocked...

i remembered that time i just a new members who being active and Fun for just a several month..
after join event " Summer Camp "
and for a several days being invited to the temple..without know any reason..why suddenly ask me to come?

i sit there and with some members..and the situation quite serious..
and suddenly someone said ( i forgot the person ) 

"  tonight we invited you guys because we like to ask all people here to become a Committee "

at that time i just " What? " and shacked like Hell

kind of " Oh No...what should i do?? "

in one case i feel like to try because i love BLIA YAD and feel happy to be with after join members..
and who knows i stand until today..

i am still remember how simple i am...
when becoming committee after a few days..without hesitating i wrote some letter to the President  
" Chandra Salim "
i write a lot of solution..critic to build BLIA YAD Indonesia..
and i know that time He thought that i deliver a LOVE LETTER  for him hahahaha 

this year also i have some members who act like me actually..
he quietly send a message give comment, critic, solution..
but i know after i try to know him..there are still a lot difference between me and him..
especially the personality..

i know myself well.. i am kind of person that i believe born to be a good heart person..
where i can become the best assets if i believe in something good..a person who dare to sacrifice for everything that precious ..even to give my Life..
since i was small i realize that i like to protect other people.. 
( I have no meaning to be arrogant and act Monastic.. )

but kind a person like me..if don't have a heart to Protect other..but only heart to protect self greed..  I will turn become Devil and nightmare for everyone which give high risk for this kind of Organization.. and break the One Heart One Dream..

the problem is can we trust other people will do better than us?
i wish this time all of them are special than before..


after remind this story this morning..suddenly i realized..

I am just to worry.. as a father to his son..
right now i understand why Old people always hard to trust directly to people who beginner and younger...
Haha

yeah i believe this is also because of bad experience that always haunted us..that's why we become extremely protective hoho

i think i should trust them...because long time ago, i am also hate if elder didn't trust me...
i wish i don't want to become that kind of " Elder" right now but always support for them to change better..haha


i don't want to repeat a same mistake..
and make everybody feel afraid of doing mistake..

Good Luck for everybody who will got the chance later..
i try my best..and wish you all the best...


Stay Strong and Love Me...

Rong Lee..

helo Everybody--
long time no see..huh?
haha

today i like to share with you what i feel..
let me describe it to you..this feeling is kind of.. warm inside you`...day dreaming..make you smile..
and sometimes make you said to your self..aaa I miss it..
it also encourage you to live better and feel proud..to face the future..


last 3 days..i have nothing to do and i just playing facebook..and listen to Lee Hom's Song..
     
         "Chai Mi You Yan Jian Chu Cha" 

Listen to this song can make you think about your past memory.. and how far we had changed from a kiddos  to adult..maybe we change better or maybe worse..
i like this song.. maybe because of this song..it affect me to find them in Facebook..

can you imagine it.. almost everyday i play facebook..but only this time i feel i use it goodly..

that time you know because have nothing to do in face book..feeling wasting time by looking at random picture and look all complain in shout out..
and suddenly something pump out from my mind
" hey Why I never think to find my Very Childhood's Best Friend Here?

and without hesitating i search my old friend's name..
"I found them!!!"  i feel like back to my old House!!
  i add them!

aa this is the first time i feel so Happy playing Facebook..and feel thanks!

i was looking at their picture one by one..  
                             " are they living well ? "
  this is the first question appears in my mind..  you know it always pain inside to found  old friends or maybe someone who we know is suppose to be good turned become a Drug...criminal , bad attitude..and Messy...

and i wish this never happen to all my friends.. you know because it feels like you don't know how to encourage him to be happy..after long time no talk about each other..

But i am glad everybody looks Happy..


aa i miss them all.. since i was small i always play with them..
football with a shoes as a Goal ( gawang )..hide and seek at alleyway 
bleeding feet.. scary Aunty and grandma.. bicycle.. Ice Cream ( Walls ) , Kue-kue ( kind of snack in Medan) , Internet ( Star craft, Counter Strike )

yeah counter strike..that is the last favorite game for me..start that time..around year of 2001 ..
i was moved to new house..where i live today..
i am still remember the day where all things had moved out to a new house..me and my dad for the last time went to old house there to pick up small things..
all is empty...
i was looking around..the  place where i watched a television, where i cooked Instant noodle
( Indomie , Michiyo ), where i took a bath , where i grow up to taking bath myself,
Green ceramics.. enter my Parents room..( oh no.. i still remember all the picture..) yeah i remember it because i often dreaming back to that home during i sleep..
i miss it..

i miss that small home..sometimes when i passed i look at that house already being renovated full of ceramics..
but for me that old house is prettier before got renovated..

that day is the day where i lost contact with all my old friends...
my life is change after i moved here..
Sunday playing Foot ball, hide and seek.. change become going to Mall..
slowly going to Temple.. and meet with BLIA YAD ..becoming committee and President..

and i am starting busy here.. i have something to focus right now..and i feel different..

i admit it..i forgot all of my old's friend that time..( i think I'm such a bad person )
actually our house is easy to reach each other..
but during that time..i am still lack of experience to push myself contact with them...

until just know..i chat with one of my old friends " Jacky Ongko "..and talk about when i moved ..
he said they all want to find me.. but they don't know where i live..

that time surely i feel stupid.. " i wonder why i didn't tell them detaily where i live..before i leave?"
actually our home is damn near..
if only that time i was mature enough..

to be honest..i feel sorry and damn regret because of that..although i know kid is born to be innocent..


But this all reminds me how is our heart and mind change from time to time....and we all need to remind it again...especially the sincere on.. so we can daily keep reminding our self that we live today because we have a beautiful dream since we are small..and prevent us to be controlled by life..but we control the changes

During we are small.. all we want is Happy..
Dream to be Superman to save the world..

although it sounds nonsense..but for me it's beautiful..
because when kid want to say what he want to be in the future.. we can look at he/she eyes describe a real gut to be grow up ..

but sometimes when we are mature enough..more aging more afraid of everything..
make a lot of unnecessary decision and consideration to move forward..it surely make self pain..


this recently i feel like Grandpa... keep day dreaming about my past child hood story..haha


in my theory..
if we want to be proud during our old time..We should start to  write a good story today.. ^^

people said it easy to say than do..
For me.. it is more easy to do than Dream..
If we really dream about it..we surely automatically do it without being asked..



i miss everything about my child hood... sure..if only i have Time machine..i like to back to that time and looking at myself from the corner..and ask that innocent Kid called " Yong Yong " to take care of them well and give a detail new house address to them..
and i don't forget to bring my camera to take that kid's picture..because right now.. i have none of picture at that moment -- haha

i just pray from my heart everybody is doing well..keep walking in a good path..
and someday we are going to meet again in a good way..


Stay Strong..
Rong Lee

Today i watched some weird and confusing movie..but when i try to catch the meaning it turns entertaining...
the movie called " Magnolia " 

see..even the title is hard to understand haha

actually at the first time i don't understand exactly what the movie tells about..until the ending i actually still do not understand exactly what is the story..
in the beginning i was almost turn it to another channel..till i found interesting and good actor inside like an example Tom Cruise, Julianne More, William H Macy..and it make me curious..

as i see..this movie have a lot of desperate people inside..it showed us the life of Desperate people..from the problem that bump into his life..and fatal mistake that they ever do and make them hard to forget..

Policeman who always being laughed, get no respect from other.. feel as a useless policeman
Husband who cheat her wife and daughter and life with burden of wrong feeling..
kid who hate everybody because he is smart and everybody treat him like a doll..
Daughter who had been molested by her father..fall into drug
Man who hate his father because his father left his mother..
and so on..

for a minute a bunch of people showing their complicated story and their desperate emotion for you to watch..and all of them hide their secret to other people..

at the moment i can feel my self jump into the story..i can suddenly feel how hard is life out there for everybody who ever did a mistake and get a problem till hard to stand up..a people who burden a sad feeling and grudge in his whole life..
bring them nut..and act desperate..people starting think you weird..
and far away from you..

i don't know why i can sat on the couch ,keep watching that complicated movie.
Why this guy is crying...
Why the Tom Cruise mad during his seminar and bring topic " How to give a fake care to people " and the audience is happy..?

until in one scene some song appears and it touched my heart..
when the Subject turning desperate..and at the same time they sing the lyric with their messy condition..
You know..
when the song starting to play i feel all feeling is coming out..
at the moment i said to myself..i am going to find this song in internet later...

http://www.4shared.com/audio/IkVRpfdt/Aimee_Mann_-_Wise_Up.htm
(you can download it if you want )

The Lyric said about..

right now... i am damn falling in love with this song..

in the last story.some weird scene is coming out..when Frog is raining from the sky..
hit every house, car...
and then all the subject turning better...

can you imagine..when the situation is starting climax..suddenly frogs falls like a rain?
and at that time..all of them becoming good...
they take out all their burden..and try to change everything..
like having a new life..

actually i am still do not understand what is the movie tells about.. maybe for people who ever watch that movie will surely know i understand badly about the movie..
yeah that is me.. sometimes i have my own story inside my head..

but i can said that raining frogs describe the moment where the day starting to turn better...
and ask them to stop doing worse..

the police man said " sometimes someone need to be forgive, sometimes someone need to be in jail "
i wonder when that policeman who always being called stupid can said that wise word..
yeah that is right..the hardest things to do is to forgive people..
to let go the feeling of being hurt,,

at the conclusion i can say that sometimes we need to forgive the wrong in the past...and give a chance to live  better...

today i wrote this blog for people out there..who ever do a big mistake..
who have a bad moment right now..
who have a bad past story..
who have a hard life now..

sometimes we don't know what to do to fix everything...
we don't know how to get up again..
we don't know how to make up the broken relationship..
even we don't know how to death and how to life...

dare to say to ourselves..
someday even we have no leg and no hand..
we shouldn't say give up to live better...

in facebook one my friend said.. 

"The saddest things in life are to remember the happiest moments of the past which seems unlikely to happen again in lifetime!!!"

yeah i like to say..i am agree with her..because i ever felt this way..and i think everybody do..
all we can do is to believe that everybody will be a happy ending.. by staying good..
that;s all people can do..believe in something good to stand up..




someday we sure think there is a cure by having one drink..
that shrink us to underground, and living down..
but this life is not going to stop to hurt you..


like the song said about..

                                          everything is not going to stop until we wise up...


Love Me...
Rong Lee

Just now..i just watch some touching video..http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=1219994465851&ref=mf


and suddenly think about Life..
there is a things that always cause never ending explanation in my Life..


My Favorite topic that i had in this Life is " LIFE " itself


People out there talk and Discuss about Self, Experience, Money, and  Love...


But what about "LIFE"?
What do you think about Life ?
What is the meaning Of Life ? 
Who Are You?
Who Am I?
Dream or Real?
are you exist for me?
am i Exist for you?
are you Real?
This tree, wind, water, is this for real?
is this story had arranged for me?

WHO THE HELL is GOD?




this is the most  tough question and nobody dare to think..

In this Life..
We ( Human ) had think that we are the  King..
because there are nothing can be better than us ( Human )


We are the one who rule this world..
We can   Love, Kill,  Hurt,  Hate..

Nobody can tell us what we want...
We create our own Rule, and wish everybody afraid of that..


We are the one who control our self..

What I want is MINE..


Human always used to be think that we are the Only People in this World..

Everything exist is for People..

We think whatever land that we land is our Land..

We Only think that we think is right..


Everyone need to be kneel down in front of us..

Let me tell you about my Childhood point of view..
When i was 11 maybe..
maybe in junior high school, or maybe in kinder garden..


i was starting to think about Life..in my mind that time..
Life is so Mystery...
i even think that..i am the only one who born and realize everything in this earth..
people around me have no feeling..they exist is just for me..
people i met..all is had arranged ..
after  i am going home..they are disappear..and then appears again like everything is normal..
and i need to pretend nothing happen to make this game run smoothly..


I think this life as a Video game.. 
which i am the main Hero..and Someone created everything for me..

When people smile at me..i am Happy..
when people mad at me.. I am Sad..
and i think that aa.. i need to meet this things..and that things..



When i am doing good people will praise me..
when doing bad people will  think bad about me..


have Fight when angry..


until slowly growing up..
that kind of though
 is slowly fading..


but i wonder how i can still remember that things right now haha




This Life is unique huh?nobody dare to ask about how this earth is born..
and refuse to answer it..because no body know..

Like this Earth will be destroyed or maybe break the balance of this life if the answered had  revealed out..


but i don't want to talk about how this earth  exist...


I Just like to talk about Life..


We as Human being..sometimes acting weird and unique..
We have 3 mood in this Life :
Good, Balance , Bad..


We Change unpredictable..


When it good..all is Okay from our selves..
and when it turn Bad .. Okay will turn become Not Okay..

Balance Mood is something that  I call the moment where we just do every responsibility that we have in our daily Life..Our Mind focus at  what are we doing..and the moment we didn't talk to ourselves like " hey how are you doing " , " wahhh what a nice weather " and so on..


if something unlucky Hit us during the Good mood..
Sometimes it will stay cool and turn become Balance Mood...


But During Balance Mood..if we get Hit by unlucky things..it sure will turn become Bad Mood..


everything bad Happen always take down one level of our Mood..
and so do the opposite things..


but there are also some weird Human Being..
who can raise one level of their mood what ever bad things happen to them..
haha





Human Being tend to have a million complicated mind.
and it can be change easily with Greed or self esteem..
almost of us change by a Greed and Ignorance..

That's what people need to do to survive..this is what people used to think..

There is no need to think about any theory of Life...just focus in Reality Life.. because Life is keep changing..This is also what people think about.. 

this is Human Being..They always refuse to follow their heart..
Human always follow what looks good.. 
We tend to be stay at status ..

maybe if someday God is going to fishing at one beautiful Sea called " Earth "
there are beautiful, funny and unique Fish called " Human "


God Put some bait and the fish follow  whenever the bait go...
and then we been put into Aquarium, to be enjoyed..


This is us..
we Human Being born into this earth..we Life and follow everything that people do..
We Follow the Dream that people Dream.. we tend to follow the same step to reach one place..


we all search for Happiness..but we all do not know what is the Happiness actually that we Search...

People said yes that is Happiness, and we also said..yes it is...



until one day.. something called " Money " exist in this Earth..

and i think Money is now become THE KING of this Life..even a GOD


It is Ruling this earth..
It is controlling all Human Being..
hahaha ( Seriously )

Now human being used to think.."  Life needs Money and Life for Money "
can anybody imagine actually how foolish is us?
we born in this earth..
we are growing up..and at the last..we are nothing and meaningless than a piece of paper that we called " Money "


Maybe someday we need to change our Status..
Human become Money
 Money Become Human..


so we change place..

Is that Okay Money Being?


Life is sure unique...have a different story from each people..
we Life and Die in this earth..
but nobody can find this simple question..


People lately said..
" We Life for Food "


What is the function of the Food actually?


we eat and Survive..


we survive and protect people we loved..
yeah that's right..this is also what i am thinking about..stay alive to be a long people we loved..and enjoy this life..
we do our responsibility..

and die Happily at the last...

but people is tend to be foolish..for staying alive they hurt people around them..  

What is Happiness?
What is the reason i exist?
For What?
Who Am I?



because nobody can ever explain it..
so people decide to ignore it...
and better we just do what people do..


yeah..this is Foolish Human Being..
we born exactly just to Follow what people do..
we afraid what people afraid..
we ignore what people ignore..
although they have heart to feel what is Happiness actually..

But Human do not know how to feel it..




and then something called Religion is come to this world..

In This Life..people have a religion to follow..
Because people think that Religion can bring peace in mind and Happiness..
some is asking..maybe with religion i can know what is the reason for me to Live..
and what is the meaning of Life...

some is seems understand it..but do not know how to explain it..
some believe with that ..

and some is believe..only Money can bring Happiness in this Life..


but right now i don't discuss about Money and Religion..


let's back to the Life..
Life is surely mystery..
sometimes create Miracle..
sometimes it tell us the answer and suddenly make us confuse again..
sometimes we feel like know the reason to Life..and then we Confuse again..
sometimes sad..sometimes Happy..


Life is surely always make people confuse where to walk and what to do..





Earth Exist , 
and we human being . and all Creature enjoy inside it..
Different House, Family, Story, Appearance..


" Appearance " i wonder unaccountable of people population in this earth  , but how come everybody have different face ?
hmm
what a mystery right? haaha




Yeah..Do you believe in Ghost?

is that really exist or just human creation?


haha see..in this earth actually is not only us who life..
but it also belong to everybody..
but you know...this is what God Called us " Foolish Human Being.."
We always think that we own this place..
fight for self esteem, try to compare with another..

Maybe God up there is laughing at us..
and enjoy our foolish Story..
maybe God with his/her Friends is enjoying popcorn and sitting on the comfort  couch..
like watching a Soccer competition..
shouting , angry and Happy..
maybe gambling ..." hey which fish will be the winner ? "
and the fish keep fighting biting each other..


God said to his Friend " you know..that human are damn Stupid..
i grant them power , feeling , Mind to Live Happily..
but they don't know how to control all of the things that i gave.....
they do everything to be number one..
they use it for cheating, betray and hurt each other..


I gave them Heart to feel and understand what is Happiness..
But they do not want to feel it..
i gave them power to stand up..but they give up easily..
I give them mind,so they can learn.. but they don't want to learn..





yeah that is us..
Human Being..


Life is sure Unique, and Full of Mystery hoho  

But i Believe in something..
that this Life is have a lot of things that we don't know..
a lot of Life exist..
not only us...
Tree, Animal and Earth..
also have Life..feeling, they can cry and afraid of dead..
but us as Human Being ignore to listen it..
and have a statement that everything is only for Me ( Human )




hmm yeah,,that is..
enough for tonight about LIFE that cause confusing if we think about it..






Love Me ..
Rong Lee

Hey..
Today is 22 August 2010
and that is my Birthday..

Which i was started remember at Saturday at 00.00 by Doctor Tanaka...the first person who greet me very ontime..
ck ck ck He Sure Love me a lot i think ( HAHAHAHAHA.... )

Before that My Friend Nova who can't do Lie..( you are too honest to Lie haha)
at Saturday 18.00 after doing gym and reached home..
She sent Message like this " President! Giam Tiong ( Terrible ) tomorrow the speaker suddenly can't doing speech because of family problem..and you had been asked to be speaker..remember bring the Uniform! "

Hahaha Do you know how can i feel weird?
in my mind " hmm..usually she is going to call me and ask can i become a speaker? but right now she decide it without tell me who is the one who asked me to become speaker..and The message sounds so over urgent..
it more effected if she send it at 22.00 at night haha"

but that time .. i am still relax..i feel .."aa it's okay if i am doing speech.." because i am feeling in mood that time..hoho

until Tanaka send greeting at me..my mind started to think " o i see..Tomorrow is My birthday .."
Is there anything will Happen i think?
 suddenly link to her message and weird message reply..haha
" aa don't think too much.. " at least i feel in mood to prepare speech..until 01.30 a.m

until in the morning..i know that something really weird haha
when i send message to her.." eh Nova..would you mind to change my chanting section with someone else..because i need to prepare my speech more.."
she replied this " You Need to bring Hai Ching Manyi ! Thanks.."( sound very pushing right? ) haha

at the last my mom asked..are you doing speech this morning?
Me : yes i do..
Mom : How come..last night i met the speaker and she said she will doing speech for sure..

hahaha that time i completely know they plan something haha
and i send message to Nova : The Speaker can do speech..hoho
and i believe after i sent that message she is totally confuse how to reply me hahahaha

I wonder is she the one who being stress at the last.. hahaha
ya..at least i had prepared everything..
so i just..come and be ready hahaha

it's My Birthday! i want to do everything! and do not want to expect too much hahaha
haha
although during Sunday class i accept little warning because i just know that we need to finish before 11.am, which i don't know.. ( people said being scorned in special day is damn Unlucky hahaha, but i am so steady) hahaha

After Sunday Class over..everybody went home seems so busy..and i have a long chat with members..
until remain Jackson, Juandy, Christian Salim and Robin ( the one who request playing Plays station at my Home, who at last he didn't play anything.. only do hugging making mess my room..hahaa)

we had lunch..by buying 2 Pizza medium size.. and main course.. some is Vegetarian Fussili , Spaggethi, Chicken Teriyaki,  Sour Fish..
and 3 Dogs Balloon from Pizza for souvenir..which the last become a decoration for our lunch..
we ate inside my small room..

" aaa this is my birthday party for this year..hahaha " i like it..
so simple, relax, and have different warm room situation hahaha 
nice than celebrate at Restaurant or Cafe ! haha

with ghost movie in my note book, that make Mr Robin keep closing his eyes and hugging everyone..
( that monkey never stop hugging a men Hauahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah )
I fall a sleep for 15 minutes i think..and found that..like to go somewhere because they will feel boring haahaha

and surprisingly..another friends Hendra, Christian Salim , SURYAAAA!
is waiting at me in front of my home..

HAHA at that time to be honest i feel happy ( oh yeahhh ) although i didn't act shocked..but it surprising me haha
exspecially found Surya is also coming hahahaa

You know the moment..it kinda like.. you having a great mood, weather..calm and warm condition..and when you ready to step outside to having another great moment.. finally a lot of Angel say hi to you..and suddenly you feel like today is going to be fun day..like time is stopping for you..ahaha

inside the car..i feel spirited..keep singing..and feel like stand out the window and say hi to the world! hahahaha

we planed to went to having badminton and drink some coffee inside my room before..but suddenly jackson seems head to Sun Plaza..
at that time..i said aaa so you planed  everything..
no wonder he keep messaging and smiling alone silently  inside my room..and cover it with reading comic book
ck ck ck ck...

at this moment Hendra Move from Surya car to Jackson Car..and he started to try take off my shirt..
especially Hendra and Robin ( they always being so gay hahaha )

yeah this time i allowed them to be happy for being success bully me..hahaha
a bunch of monkey had waiting in Sun...ahahaha they all steal my belonging..
They steal my 1 Long White shirt, green t shirt...and try to steal my pride..
gather power to beat me...so lame ...


I am Lucky for having experience for being Short Monastic retreat..
because i was walking inside Sun Plaza during the crowded day with my inner t-shirt...and it suppose wear during sleep and doing my gym..i can said it for a dirty activity one..

they leave me inside the toilet..at that time i set my mind inside the toilet.." okay..think as a monastic.." simple and no attachment Hahahahahaha
and it saved me...at the last i seems to be cool hahaha
until That Riki Wirawan come...and playing harsh to open the remaining t shirt on my body..and the last he Tears my Shirt!!!

You are so dead in your next Birthday Buddy!! ahahahaha

that time i can't act no attachment anymore..because it is too sexy in Lebaran hahaha

                        Mereka bisa batal Puasa nanti... Sungguh Dosaa

but i feel wrong because i also make his new expensive t shirt a little bit messy .. hahaha

i walk with that shirt ..by hosting Hendra to cover my Body..
until i got a present by let them adoring my self..
haha

they all keep attacking my weakness by never wear a short pants..
and they pushed me to wear it today..
can you imagine that..wearing syal in Medan..will looks like a clown in people eyes..

everybody is looking at me..
i don't know what people think about myself..
is that looking at handsome guys or disgusting guys..
haahaha
but what you can do..at least i only can act like a Korean..
ehmm  Anyong Haseyo hahaha
 



nice2..
i never imagine i damn so patient today hahahaa



to be honest Diary..
i am damn happy..Today is my day...
and Everybody is gathering..
and have fun..
i wonder there is a long time i miss this moment where everybody gathering..and have a same vision to do Harassment ( Hahaha just kidding , i mean to bully a birthday person..) "Please don't try this at Home!"
At Least for one day they spare time to gather..and wishing Happy Birthday..
haha
something that i didn't expect before..
you know..everyday seem time is not enough to be used..more older more less time to fooling around haha..

sometimes also when people decide to go..it's hard to come back..
some is do not want to come back..some is do not know how to come back..
But when after he/she go and come back.. sometimes it will become eternity.." that's what people said "

I Have a friend who have a same condition with me.. there is Silvia Winny..
She has birthday yesterday.. but celebrate today haha 2 in 1 huh..

i am not making this sound big and add some spicy..but this is the first time i said to the world..
This is the best birthday feeling that i ever had...
today seems so nature..and  have feeling of Forgiveness

Guys..in your Birthday Party.. I suggest you..do not expect too much.. but start it with a grateful heart..
at that time we can feel so Happy..hahaha
The Feeling where everything so nature...simple but deep inside my heart..

Hey this is the best...
Sorry for making you guys tired haha..

i wonder how can give this feeling in others birthday..
I wish you will understand how i feel in your birthday someday.and continue by sharing it...

hahaha What a Day!



Rong Lee

Continue..from the Chapter 1 :Of being Monastic..

Chapter 2 - I realized how lucky I am --

First Day and First Dinner..
In Fo Guang Shan actually they don't have dinner in a monastic ( monk ) life..
They called it an medicine to regenerate our body.. for Monastic who doing hard Work a whole day..

Yeah..
Monastic in Fo Guang Shan always being busy..
Looking at them tell me about real Life..

Life always need to work, that  give us an experience and the meaning of Life.. For a long time a lot of people think being monastic is because lazy to work..stay safe, hiding by a name..
but actually they are totally wrong..

I can see.. someone who can become a monastic is a special one and stronger than a lay person like us..
we said they are lazy, actually they working hard than us...

they also talented, and skillful, full in understanding the experience of life..
They understand about Life, Human Being even themselves..

Yeah this is Human Being..
including myself..sometimes we think are clever than others.. the best after we can handle in one things, we show out all our arrogance and wealth..
but sometimes we do not know that we are weaker inside..

we didn't realize we are being controlled by Life..
being fooled of praise from people, and suddenly controlled by status..

Join this monastery retreat at the first day, and the second day.. i feel very uncomfortable..
i quite miss my home, Food actually..
right here we have no time for taking a bath, not enough time to sleep, always stay mindfulness, no Lazy things..no efficient , no adoring yourselves.. and no additional food at night..

in my daily Life, especially Indonesian..
is too lucky..we are staying with family, have anything to eat, being covered and protected, everything had been prepared for us..
we can do anything that we want,
like an example, eating together in one table, having a joke,chat, eating and in a same time watching television..
we drink when we want..we put sauce and everything as we want.. no waiting just have everything that we want..

But when i was sitting at DINING HALL as a monastic..
it was a really unique style to eat ...

I was sitting and Looking around--
there are around 1000 monk sitting quietly waiting for a meal..

All i can see is people have a same cloth ,( monk uniform ) , same behavior, same hair style ( No Hair ),
no make up..

I even realized..everytime before we start to have our meal..
there is always a bird files inside the dining hall..haha

I watch to everyone expression..
all is same...
everybody is focusing in one view..when i was looking around..
suddenly my Teacher come and said to me..

Not to look around... " Keep your Eyes !, Do not too much action, Sit properly... Do not Lay your Back! Sit Half your chair! "

at that time i keep asking myself..
Why there is no smile and so quiet..?
Why i can't look around..and enjoy the moment?
All i can hear is only the sound of Chop Stick.. ting tiang ting tiang..

What an unique moment..
But after day by day..i'm starting to understand why there is so much rule in eating our meal?
that actually teach me for being patient..
For this long time I always want everything coming Fast..
but now i learned to wait for each other..

I was always like to looking around..
But now i need to focus in one things why?

That teaches me..to control myself and mind..

Eating with a lot of mind will cause  stress you know.. haha
that's why my Mother always said to me..
when you eat..go to eat..
when you sleep go to sleep..
do not bring other mind to disturb it..


There is a rule in moving our bowl and plate... I wonder why?
but now i realized it is to keep my mind concious..
This is one of my mind weakness actually..
sometimes if too much things we need to do in our daily Life.., We can forget and ignore a simple things and the last all was messed up..

one day in my Lunch..because i was too focus in moving my bowl and plate..
i forgot to take inside my fruit and Yogurt..
and at the last..it was taken by the Xin Thang ( people who volunteer to serve meal )..

at that time i keep mourning about that Sweet and delicious Yogurt and Fruit..
I wish the Xin Thang will bring back to me again..
haha

but after a minute.. i realized why i need to have this disastifaction in my mind?
i don't want to have a bad mood in having my meal because of that Yogurt and Fruit..
at the last i finished my meal, and that SWEET things never come  back to me..haha
so my conclusion there is a useless things if we keep sad for a whole life by something that had passed..

This is Human Being..
always being attach ( melekat ) with something we haven't have and we don't have.., being  greed for something but never enjoy what we have right now..
after having one thing we haven't enjoy and use it well yet..but we start to think having another new again..
that is the one always cause dissatisfaction , jealous and stress in our daily life hoho
 

Nice Lesson for me today..
thank you for this moment..



There are 3 Chapter Left to go ....
Coming Soon --
 
Stay strong and Love Me..
Rong Lee..